Cell Block Tango
by bighsmfan97
Summary: The couples of Glee are fighting a lot lately but can Mr. Shue's idea change that?


Cell Block Tango

"Mike stop popping that gum!"

"Puckerman can't you stay out of the cheerios skirts while we're together!"

"Blaine, I'm not cheating on you with Dave!"

"Mercedes, I didn't do anything with Quinn!"

"Sugar, I didn't do anything with Brittany, or Sebastian."

Rachel and Finn stared at the fighting going on between their fellow New Directions. Even Artie was glaring at Sugar for even thinking Rory had done something with his Brittany. Finn and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief when Mr. Shuester walked in.

"What is going on here?"

Rachel was quick to answer.

"Noah's still in other girls skirts, Blaine thinks Kurt's cheating, Mercedes thinks Sam's cheating with Quinn, Sugar thinks Rory is cheating with Brittany and Sebastian, and Mike won't stop popping his gum no matter how many times Tina tells him to stop."

Mr. Shue smiled

"This reminds me of a song from a certain musical called Chicago.

Rachel grinned

"Cell Block Tango of course! The girls and Kurt will love it."

Rachel told the truth. The girls prepared for a week, the Monday after, the boys (minus Kurt and Finn) walked into the auditorium and sat down. They had no idea what was in store for them.

Then Finn came on stage

"And now the 6 merry murderers of the cook county jail in their rendition of the cell block tango."

Finn walked off and a spot light came on over Tina

"Pop"

Then it hit Santana

"Six"

Then Kurt

"Squish"

Then Rachel

"Uh Uh"

Then Mercedes

"Cicero."

Lastly, Sugar

"Flanagan"

All together they sang

"He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it"

Then Mercedes went

"I betcha you would have done the same!"

Then Tina stepped forward and began to sing:

"You know how people have these little habits That get you down. Like Mike. Mike like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day And I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a bit of sympathy and there's Mike layin'

on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "you pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...into his head.

When she finished she went off stage and sat on Mike's lap singing:

"He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would Have done the same!"

Then Santana began to sing:

"I met Noah Puckerman from Lima Ohio about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

Santana went and sat on Puck's lap singing:

"He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower in its prime And then he used it And he abused it. It was a murder But not a crime!"

Then Kurt began to sing:

"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen minding my own business, carvin' up the chicken for dinner, and in storms my husband Blaine, in a jealous rage."You been screwin' Karofsky," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin Karofsky." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"

Kurt went and sat on Blaine's lap singing:

"If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!"

Then Rachel began to sing in Spanish.

"¿Por qué estoy aquí? Se dice al famoso lago estaba sosteniendo mi esposo y yo Me golpeó la cabeza. Pero no es cierto, yo soy inocente soy. No sé por qué dijo Tío Sam, yo lo hice. Traté para explicar a la policía, pero ellos no lo entendieron."

"Yeah but did you do it?" Mercedes asked

"Uh Uh not guilty!" Rachel cried

She ran off the stage to Finn who had sat beside Blaine. He pulled her close as Mercedes began:

"My friend, Quinn and I had this double act and my husband, Sam, traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks one two three four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other.

Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Quinn and Sam doing Number Seventeen- the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead."

She walked down to Sam and began to sing:

"They had it coming They had it coming They had it coming all along I didn't do it But if I'd done it How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

Lastly, Sugar began to sing:

"I loved Rory Flanagan more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a painter. But He was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night

looking for himself and on the way he found Brittany and Sebastian. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."

She blew a kiss to Rory as the other girls came back up singing:

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum."

All together they sang:

"They had it comin', They had it comin', They had it comin', All along 'Cause if they used us And they abused us, How could you tell us That we were wrong?"

Then Tina said "You pop that gum one more time!"

Santana added "Single my ass."

Kurt continued with "Ten times!"

Rachel babbled "¿Por qué el tío con el mismo régimen cerrado?"

Mercedes smirked "Number seventeen-the spread eagle."

Sugar finished "Artistic differences"

Tina slinked offstage to Mike saying "Pop"

Santana went to Puck with "Six"

Kurt went to Blaine chanting "Squish"

Rachel smiled at Finn saying "Uh Uh"

Mercedes went to Sam smirking "Cicero"

Finally Sugar walked to Rory saying "Flanagan"

Mr Shuester walked on stage smiling and clapping loudly

"Good job girls and Kurt! That was a great number."

The girls and Kurt smiled at their boyfriends. They looked at them with frightened expressions.

"Tina, I'll stop popping my gum." Mike said

"I'll only get in your skirt." Noah spoke

"I believe you weren't cheating on me with Dave." Blaine told Kurt

"I promise you Mercedes I won't cheat on you with anybody, not even Quinn." Sam promised

"I won't cheat on you either Sugar I swear." Rory cried

"Thank you" the girls and Kurt replied

Then the group of girls and Kurt left.

"Pop." Tina smirked

"Six" followed by Santana

"Squish" Kurt went next

"Uh Uh" Rachel grinned

"Cicero." Mercedes came after Rachel

"Flanagan." Sugar concluded

The boys' eyes followed after them worried. Then boys swore they heard them singing:

"It was a murder but not a crime."


End file.
